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You're probably always hearing that you could be having better sex, a better orgasmor a better relationship. But how often do you hear the nitty-gritty of how you can actually better understand your deepest desires and most embarrassing questions — even something as simple as how to kiss someone well? The truth is, even if you're already pretty great at it or think you arethere's probably something more you can learn about making out.

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And the fact you're interested in expanding your horizons is a great place to start. Not only that, but it plays a key role in building relationships.

8-expert approved tips for taking your kissing to the next level

In fact, kissing frequency is a strong indicator of relationship connectivityaccording to a study published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy. So, the more you kissthe happier you and your partner will likely be in your relationship. And as Marin says, it's "super important to intimacy, foreplay, and attraction in general.

Arguably the best tip, according to Marin, is to go slow and ease your way into every kiss. But no one likes kissing someone who is hyperactive and all over the place.

If you still feel completely lost and nervous and hey, it happensremember that the best kisses are usually the ones that are relaxed and sensual, Marin says. So if you feel yourself pecking away, remember to go nice and slow until you feel yourself start to settle down and get into the groove. One of the most basic ways that people mess up kissing is by going to extremes with the amount of pressure they use, according to Marin.

Some people are way too forceful with their kisses and wind up bumping teeth, pushing their partner backwards, or coming off as aggressive. Other people are shy and timid, and their kisses end up feeling lifeless. Think about handshakes: It feels strange when someone squeezes your hand way too tightly and kinda creepy when you get a limp handshake. Marin explains that you have to use some pressure but not too much, and land somewhere in the middle. That'll cover your basic kiss.

8 tips for becoming the hottest kisser ever

But it can also help to keep in mind that any good makeout session includes various types of kissing. There very well be a moment when you go for a light touch, like when you first start kissing, and then press in harder as things heat up. It's all about reading the moment. When you first start kissing someone, Marin recommends that you keep the tongue out of it until things start to get more intense.

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When it feels like time to add some tongue, be gentle. Your tongue is an incredibly strong muscle, so you need to be careful not to go overboard. Imagine that your tongues are softly caressing each other, says Marin.

How to kiss a man - top kissing tips for women

Just gentle caresses. If you feel unsure about how to kiss and use your tongue, Marin advises practicing on the back of your hand again. Give your hand a firm jab with your tongue, just so you can see how strong your tongue is you might be surprised. Then play around with different ways of moving your tongue across your skin.

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The best kisses involve your entire body, not just your lips! Wrap your arms around your partner, or stroke their arms, shoulders, and back with your hands.

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Press your body up against theirs. Hold their face in your hands, or run your hands through their hair. You can also take little breaks from their lips to kiss their neck or ears, says Marin. Use your body to create some variety — the possibilities are basically endless. Teasing your partner between kisses can be a ton of fun.

For example, it's pretty sexy to pull your lips away and gently stroke their lower lip with your thumb, says Marin. Clausthe founder of DatingKinky, ly told Bustle.

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Not even a half inch. If your partner follows you, or pounces, they are having a good time. You can try this a few times throughout the evening, but don't make it a game of chasing you down. And while it sounds weird, breathing is also another component of kissing. Marin recommends keeping your slightly-open mouth close to theirs and breathing in and out together, or breathing in through your nose.

You could also try brushing your lips against your partner's without actually kissing them. You can work on kissing techniques all you want, but the reality is that figuring out how to kiss someone will be different with each person, because everyone has a unique kissing style. Are they moving their tongue very slowly?

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Do they let out a little moan each time you bite their lower lip? Use these cues to cater your kissing to them, and try to adapt. Kelly Donohoe ly told Bustle.

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It can also happen through open conversations about how safe we will each be when we aren't together. When we trust our partner to be safe, we can feel as safe as possible kissing. Above all else, try to focus on finding the kissing styles and techniques that you enjoy the most.

Remember, kissing is supposed to be fun! Busby, D. Maister, L. Archives of sexual behavior, 49 8— Vanessa Marind sex psychotherapist. Amy Levinesex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure. Heather M. Clausfounder of DatingKinky. Kelly Donohoed psychologist. This article was originally published on Aug. By Vanessa Marin and Claire Fox.

Updated: Aug. Originally Published: Aug. Take Your Time When Kissing. See All Health Relationships Self.