As a young woman seeking stability and maturity in relationships, you may sometimes be attracted to men ificantly older than you. You might even discover that older men offer comfort and security like no one else. This may push you to start dating an older man in your 20s.
While that has its plus points, many factors need to be taken into consideration to make a sound choice. Love should not be barred by age, a relationship with a big age gap does come with its own unique challenges. On the flip side, when compatibility, attraction and desire all fit perfectly, then age becomes a mere .
There is no rulebook in the world that can dictate how and in which way to love another person. Dating an older man in your 20s can be a bountiful experience provided that you are ready for it. With the right tips for dating an older man, you can make it even more rewarding. The stability and strength that an older man brings to a relationship are unquestionable. Having experienced so much, they can see life in a way that you are yet to understand.
You can not only learn from his maturity but an older man can also guide you through a relationship with ease. Being sexually attracted to older men is one thing. That might be a kinky thing or a purely physical desire. But how do you know if it is real love? An older man younger woman relationship is not unheard of. May-December pairings have not only dominated the world of romantic fiction and the silver screen but are abundant in the real world too.
Dating an older man in your 20s and 30s is much different than dating one in your 40s, 50s, and 60s.
Falling in love despite — or because of — the difference in age is very much possible. However, there are some things that you should be mindful of.
If you have been dating an older man in your 20s, here are 15 things worth considering to understand what kind of future you can build together:. This is the foremost concern when it comes to dating somebody far older than you.
2. he may have a lot more—or a lot less—time for you.
If you are in your 20s and dating a man 15 years older, there is a good chance he will have children. Dating someone also means accepting them and every aspect of their life. If you are dating a single dadyou have to be prepared to accept that his children are part of the package. Well, you may not need to have a relationship with them right off the bat but they will be a strong determining factor in your dating life.
Whether your man can make it to that date or go on that weekend trip with you will always depend on whether or not his children are well taken care of. It is something you have to welcome with open arms into your life.
His children may eventually become a part of your life too in some ways. You do not necessarily need to approach this like a step-parent. However, you will need to have some extra space in your life for them. We feel ya! Sex drives vary tremendously across ages.
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What may seem sexy and exciting to you now might be redundant and overrated to your boyfriend. Not only is an older man more mature emotionally, but he is also far more experienced than you sexually. Having tried and tested many things in bed, if you are lucky, you might get to explore new kinks or unheard positions that he may have learned over the years. On the other hand, due to his age, he might say no to sex and may not indulge in intimacy the way you would expect him to.
Cultural differences can be very, very evident in relationships with large age gaps. This can even cause dating anxiety. If you are dating a man 10 years older, know that he will not look at things with the same lens as you. His prime years were in a different time and he is still attuned to them. For example, he may not share the same interest in posting away on Instagram as you do or understand your book reading choices. He might be an avid reader of the classics and not understand your taste in reading feminist narrations by Black women.
As a young woman, your future is still in your hands, waiting to be mapped out. But dating an older man in your 20s can bring in a whole different set of priorities into your relationship equation. The things that matter to your boyfriend can be markedly different from the ones that you care about, and this can become a breeding ground for relationship arguments.
As a man who has lived and worked enough already, he may want to recline a little and settle down for good. It is fair for him to find a long-term residence or indulge more in hobbies rather than being brazenly career-driven. You may be moving from one opportunity to another and he might be happy just where he is. When dating with an age gaphis sense of superiority might tower over you in terms of decision-making.
It may not be done intentionally to make you feel smaller but can come naturally owing to his advanced maturity. From the tiniest things like which Broadway show is better to which car dealership is more reliable, he might try to make all the decisions for you. Note that he may not do this to humiliate you but is only looking out for you and wants you to avoid making the mistakes he did.
Talk to him, without accusations or putting him in a spot, about the importance of partners being equals, the difference in their age notwithstanding. Yes, money issues can ruin your relationship. When you and your boyfriend are at vastly different places in your life, your bank balances and credit card debts may not align. This is an overlooked aspect of dating an older man in your 20s.
With different priorities, you are bound to want to spend differently. This is hardly a deal-breaker but it might be good to discuss how you want to spend your money together as a couple.
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When you go to his poker nights with his friends where the men are all discussing their wives and kids, it might not be so easy to weave yourself into his social circle. You will always have different types of friends. To prevent this from becoming a point of contention in your relationship, you must understand dating older men psychology and he yours. Related Reading: What relationship problems do couples with huge age gap face?
This is a big battle in itself. There is still a stigma attached to being with someone much older than you. Even if your parents are open to it, they may raise a variety of questions and concerns that you cannot simply dodge. It can be even more awkward when your boyfriend is just as old as your dad. While they may get along while playing a round of golf, your father may not consider someone his age exactly suitable for you. Time to cross your fingers! Take your time to be sure about your partner and your future together before you spring this relationship with a big age gap on your family and his.
While love can exist across the spectrum of age, you must still be careful about what you are getting yourself into.
In certain instances you may wonder, why do older guys like me? He might be just using you as a trophy girlfriend. A lot of older men prefer to date younger women to elevate their social status. It makes them appear more desirable and they enjoy the energy that young women bring to life. He may leave you down the line when he finds something shinier. Among the valuable tips for dating an older man is that you must take the time to look into his past relationships and dating patterns before getting too emotionally invested.
If he is retired, he may be looking to spend his life with ease and spend his golden days at his whims. In that case, you cannot rule out the possibility that he might be falling in love too fast.
Also, if you both find an instant connection, you may quickly become the center of his world. For him, you might be the top priority but since you are still in the phase of building your life, you might not always have too much time to give to him.
While every woman would love that, it can meddle with how much time you want to spend together or apart. As a young woman, you are allowed a few mistakes, misunderstandings and emotional screw-ups. A few tantrums, jealousy or insecurity all come with relationships. Just because you are with an older man does not mean you can dispose of who you are naturally meant to be. However, to keep up with him and constantly learn, you have to be more alert about your responses. He may not entertain petty mind games and could be harsh on you when you act immature. Emotional maturity is definitely one of them.
Once again, the key is to find a middle ground that works for the both of you, and be willing to make some adjustments. Older men are often into more serious dating and want to take things long-term.