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They fall in love. They need to understand the relationship values that matter most to them, yes, but also what relationship values tend to lead towards the happiest, most content couples. It may sound like a silly exercise, but understanding the core relationship values that makes a couple work — like really, truly work — is a smart move.


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As we each navigate the ups-and-downs of our love lives — from meet-cute to breakup and back again — we're constantly learning more about ourselves, what we want in life, and what we value in relationships. Over time, everyone develops their own unique set of core values: fundamental beliefs that influence how we conduct ourselves in all aspects of life, including our romantic relationships.

Importance of shared relationship values

Because our core values are so intrinsic to who we are as individuals, it's only natural that we're better suited to a romantic partner who shares our values and beliefs. But in order to be able to recognize when a potential partner is the right fit for you, you have to first get to know yourself and your core values.

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Similarly in relationships, becoming aware of your core values will help you become aware when someone's values aren't aligning with yours. Simply put, if you aren't aware of your own core values, it will be difficult to find a partner with whom you're truly, fundamentally compatible. If you're totally lost and need somewhere to start your soul-searching, here are five examples of core values that you should know your stance on — and then look for in someone else.

Without trust, it's nearly impossible to build a stable, healthy relationship — and if your partner has a habit of dishonestyit'll be extremely hard to genuinely trust them.

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There's nothing more frustrating than a partner who refuses to take ability for their actions. If you can't stand the idea of a partner who won't own up to their mistakes, then this is one core value you should never compromise on. It also eliminates secrets which can tear down trust and cause the relationship to decline.

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Learning how to commmunicate better with your partner is a skill that will take time to perfect in any relationship — but if your partner flat-out refuses to communicate in an open, honest way, it's OK if that's a dealbreaker core value. Money makes the world go 'round, but it's also the main cause of stress in relationships — so it's important to know how both you and your partner view money, and what value you each place on it and make sure to actually talk about money in your relationship.

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Every couple will have arguments from time to time, but how you resolve conflict says a lot about how healthy your relationship is. If you and your partner both express anger in different ways, that can eventually have an impact on your relationship. If someone is fearful of disappointing or upsetting a partner, they may not be fully authentic and that could lead to resentment and unrealistic expectations in a relationship.

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You probably already have at least a vague idea of what your core values arebut if you want to really self-reflect, there are questions you can ask yourself that will help you figure out what you value most, both in life and in your relationships. Here are some questions that Krimer says you can ask yourself to help guide you in figuring what your own core values are:.

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Consider a moment in life that was really meaningful for you. What gave it that meaning? What makes it stand out? Consider a time when you were feeling unhappy or uncomfortable. Was there a particular value that wasn't being addressed or that was being pushed down?

6 relationship values that lead to the happiest, most content couples

What in your life do you feel like you need in order to be your most genuine and satisfied self? If you're totally honest with yourself when answering these questions, your answers will reveal a lot about what actually matters to you in life — and you can use that knowledge to help you figure out what kind of partner you wantand what you want your future relationship to look like.

But even if you and your partner don't share all of the exact same core values, don't worry: it doesn't mean the relationship won't last. Ultimately, as long as you're fulfilled in your relationship and feel like you can be your authentic self around your partner without sacrificing any of your core values and your partner should feel the same!

How to talk about your values in a relationship

By Laken Howard. Here are some questions that Krimer says you can ask yourself to help guide you in figuring what your own core values are: 1. What in life makes me feel the most fulfilled? What moments have brought me the most happiness? What makes you feel the most like yourself? See All Health Relationships Self.

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