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Be the first to learn about new releases! Follow Author. Know that if this man isn't looking for a serious relationship, you're not going to change his mind just because you two are going on dates and being intimate.

You could be the most perfect woman on the Lord's green earth-you're capable of interesting conversation, you cook a mean breakfast, you hand out backrubs like sandwiches, you're independent which means, to him, that you're not going to be in his pockets -but if he's not ready for a serious relationship, he going to treat you like sports fish. A directive like that als to a man that you are not a plaything-someone to be used and discarded. The man who is willing to put in the time and meet the requirments is the one you want to stick around, because tthat guy is making a conscious decision that he, too, has no interest in playing games and will do what it takes to not only stay on the job, but also get promoted and be the proud beneficiary of your benefits.

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And you, in the meantime, win the ultimate prize of maintaing your dignity and self-esteem, and earning the respect of the man who recognized that you were worth the wait. The first step, I think, is to get over the fear of losing a man by confronting him. Just stop being afraid, already. The most successful people in this world recognize that taking chances to get what they want is much more productive than sitting around being too scared to take a shot.

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The same philosophy can be applied to dating: if putting your requirements on the table means you risk him walking away, it's a risk you have to take. Because that fear can trip you up every time; all too many of you let the guy get away with disrespecting you, putting in minimal effort and holding on to the commitment to you because you're afraid he's going to walk away and you'll be alone again.

And we men? We recognize this and play on it, big time. KNOW THIS: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exhange for your time.

So women need to realease themselves from the blame of a cheating man's actions-just do that for yourselves. Because holding on to that baggage can be paralyzing; it can cripple you and keep you from performing in your next encounter.

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You simply cannot drive forward if you're focused on what's happening in the rearview mirror. Tell him straight up: "I need you here to protect and provide for us, to give us security in our lives, to help raise these children, to set an example for this boy, who needs to see what real men do, and for this girl, who needs to know what a real man is so she can find one of her own someday. I need you to be the head of this family. Don't hate the player, hate the game. When a man approaches you you're the one with total control over the situation-whether he can talk to you, buy you a drink, dance with you, get yourtake you home, see you again, all of that.

We certainly want these things from you; that's why we talked to you in the first place. But it's you who decides if you're going to give us any of the things we want, and how, exactly, we're going to get them.

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Where you stand in our eyes is dictated by YOUR control over the situation. Every word you say, every move you make, every al you give to a man will help him determine whether he should try to play you, be straight with you, or move on to the next woman to do a little more sport fishing. I became the man she needed me to be because she had sense enough to have requirements-standards that she needed in her relationship in order to make the relationship work for her. She knew she wanted a monogamous relationship-a partnership with a man who wanted to be a dedicated husband and father.

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She also knew this man had to be faithful, love God, and be willing to do what it took to keep this family together. On a smaller scale she also made it clear that she expected to be treated like a lady at every turn-I'm talking opening car doors for her, pulling out her seat when she's ready to sit at the table, coming correct on anniversary, Mother's Day, and birthday gifts, keeping the foul talk to a minimum.

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These requirements are important to her because they lay out a virtual map of what I need to do to make sure she gets what she needs and wants. After all, it's universal knowledge that when mama is happy, everybody is happy.

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And it is my sole mission in life to make sure Marjorie is happy. If you're going to worry about it don't pray about it. This, I think, is a great analogy for how men seek out women.

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Some men really are just sport fishing and have no intention of doing anything more than throwing back the women they bed. If this is the cae with this man, then let him walk-what do you care? He's not the guy you're looking for.

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Please highlight this part right here so you can always remind yourself the next time a man steps to you: a man always wants something. I just haven't met that guy yet. When you meet him, let's get him in to the Smithsonian - he's that special and rare. Men go out and get jobs and hustle to make money because of women. We drive fancy cars because of women. We dress nice, put on cologne, get haircuts and try to look all shiny and new for you. We do all of this because the more our game is stepped up, the more of you we get.

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But when it comes to your relationships with the opposite sex, all of that goes out the window; you relinquish your power and lose all control over the situation—cede it to any old man who looks at you twice. Just because he happened to look at you twice. If he doesn't automatically open the door for you, stand by the darn thing and don't get into the vehicle until he realises he needs to get hid behind out of the driver's seat and come round and open the car door for you.

That's his job!

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All Quotes Add A Quote. Books by Steve Harvey. Straight Talk, No Chaser 3, ratings. Jump 1, ratings. Welcome back. Just a moment while we you in to your Goodre .