Read full profile. But does it? Does it always make us feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Or does it sometimes cause us problems in our relationships? Well, the answer is both.
We have all had our share of relationship problems — especially in romantic ones. They are not inherently hard. What I mean by that is that humans are inherently selfish. And because of that, their relationship suffers. One key to healthy relationships is understanding the different types of love.
Everyone gives and receives love differently. And in addition to that, some people are much more capable of experiencing certain types of love than others. The ancient Greeks studied love and classified them into eight different types. They studied everything from public speaking to the starts in the universe.
And love is something they were also fascinated with. First, we have agape love. This is an altruistic, selfless, unconditional love. The Greeks thought it was quite radical, perhaps because so few people seem capable of feeling it long-term. Some people would describe agape as a type of spiritual love. For instance, Christians believe that Jesus exhibited this kind of love for all humans. He was selfless and sacrificed Himself so that others could be rid of their sins.
He suffered for the happiness of others. Eros is named after the Greek god of love and fertility. Therefore, it is usually associated with romantic, passionate, and physical love. It is an expression of sexual passion and desire. The Greeks were actually quite fearful of this love, strangely enough. They thought that because human beings have an instinctual impulse to procreate, that this love was so powerful and it would result in a loss of control.
Although the Greeks thought this kind of love was dangerous, it is still the kind of love that is associated with passionate, sexual love. Ironically, the ancient Greeks thought this kind of love was better than eros sexual lovebecause it represented love between people who considered themselves equals. Hence, why there are many different types of love. Philautia is self-love.
Meet the 8 different types of love
In our modern day society, most people associate self-love with being narcissistic, selfish, or stuck on themselves. However, this is not what the ancient Greeks meant by self-love. Self-love is not negative or unhealthy in any way.
Another way to look at self-love is by thinking about it as self-compassion. Just as you might show affection and love to another person, you must also show that same affection and love to yourself. This type of love looks and feels a lot like philia — affectionate love felt between friends. However, this love is more like a parent-child love.
Just like philia, there is not physical or sexual attraction. But there is a strong bond, kinship, and familiarity between people. Eros tends to burn out quickly because of its passion and intensity. However, pragma is a love that has matured and developed over a long period of time. Unfortunately, this kind of love is somewhat rare to find — especially in society today. These days, people seem to think the grass is always greener on the other side. Both people are good at making compromises, and each of them puts in equal efforts to make the other person happy.
Studies show that when people are experiencing this type of love, their brain is acting much like it does if it was on cocaine.
In other words, your brain is lit up and active just like someone who is literally high on a drug. It makes you feel alive and excited about life. Mania is not necessarily a good type of love, because it is obsessive.
That is because the balance between eros sexual and ludus playful is terribly off. Many people who experience this type of love suffer from low self-esteem. A modern relationship therapist, Dr. Gary Chapman, identified five languages of love through his work with couples over a long period of time. His book, The Five Love Languages, provides a lot more detail.
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In a nutshell, Chapman argues that each of us give and receive love differently, but they all fall into five. And they are as follows:. Some people value giving and receiving gifts, and some do not. Other people measure the quality of their love by how much time their ificant other wants to spend with them.
Finally, some individuals associate love with physical touch.
The point of learning the love languages is to identify both the way you give and want to receive love from your partner. If you both have very different love languages, it can cause problems in your relationship. See the problem?
All you need to do is discuss it with your partner. The problems we have in relationships sometimes simply come from not understanding each other fully, especially in the area of love. Now that you know the ancient Greek types of love, and the more modern love languages, hopefully you can take a good, hard, long look at your own relationships and make the necessary improvements.
Featured photo credit: Joanna Nix via unsplash. Eugene is Lifehack's Entrepreneurship Expert.
He is the co-founder and creative lead of HighSpark, offering presentation training for companies. As you move towards the spotlight, your body starts to feel heavier with each step. A familiar thump echoes throughout your body — your heartbeat has gone off the charts. Sometimes, the anxiety happens long before you even stand on stage. If your body and mind are anxious, your audience will notice. What goes on in the inside, shows on the outside.
Exercising lightly before a presentation helps get your blood circulating and sends oxygen to the brain.
The four types of love: some are healthy, some are not
Mental exercises, on the other hand, can help calm the mind and nerves. Here are some useful ways to calm your racing heart when you start to feel the butterflies in your stomach:. The audience will notice you are nervous. If you observe that this is exactly what is happening to you minutes before a speech, do a couple of stretches to loosen and relax your body. Not only that, it increases muscle efficiency, improves reaction time and your movements. Here are some exercises to loosen up your body before show time: Advertising. Ever felt parched seconds before speaking?
And then coming up on stage sounding raspy and scratchy in front of the audience?
This happens because the adrenaline from stage fright causes your mouth to feel dried out. A sip of water will do the trick.
What kind do you and your partner share?
It will also amplify your anxiety which prevents you from speaking smoothly. Meditation is well-known as a powerful tool to calm the mind.
Meditation is like a workout for your mind. It gives you the strength and focus to filter out the negativity and distractions with words of encouragement, confidence and strength. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is a popular method to calm yourself before going up on the big stage. One thing people with a fear of public speaking have in common is focusing too much on themselves and the possibility of failure. Do I look funny? Do I look stupid? Will people listen to me? Instead of thinking this way, shift your attention to your one true purpose — contributing something of value to your audience.
Notice their movements and expressions to adapt your speech to ensure that they are having a good time to leave the room as better people. This is also key to establishing trust during your presentation as the audience can clearly see that you have their interests at heart.